Nozza
Nozza 'Nozza '''or sometimes referred to as 'Bill', 'Shaun From IT', 'Bill' or 'Billy', is a former Mount&Blade: Napoleonic Wars player. He is most notably known for his inspirational speeches and advanced melee skill, reaching the Quarter Finals of the 'Tropical Paradise Duel Tournament' on numerous occasions. He completely outclasses LeBrave in every way possible. Early Life Nozza was born in Emmerdale Village in 1964. His father, also named Bill, is a former cat known for his productions in Staurt Little The Movie and is the dad of posh. His mother is Shelly from reception, who never married Nozza's Father. He was raised Roman Catholic before changing religion to FullTimeMadBastardology, headed by none other than Danny 'The Brick Wall' Dyer, and attended a course at Tesco on Restacking Bread Shelves in which he received a PhD. NW Career - 25th Regiment of Babies Nozza began his career rather comically. Whilst stacking the shelves at Tesco he stumbled across a hard copy of 'Mount and Blade: Warband' sitting behind a blue moulded loaf of 'Ben's White Bread'. Without hesitation, using the skills he learned from his mentor, Danny Dyer, he took a quick glance over both shoulders. Seeing no one in sight he took the bread in 1 hand the the game in the other and stuck them down his nappy. He checked out of work that night knowing his life was about to change. The next morning he skipped work and went down to Currys, he inserted the disc and opened his bread. While playing on Mount & Musket Battle 1 he met General Nappy from the 25th. Immediately feeling a connection he decided to join. He quickly rose through the ranks displaying fine leadership qualities and melee ability. 54e Royal Nappy Wearers - Success & Retirement ''( - 2013) The 25th were then renamed to the '54th Royal Nappy Wearers', a decision lead by Nozza. He quickly overthrew the Colonel and brought them great success in tournaments. The 54th started going downhill when Nozza revealed he had accepted some shifts at Tesco again stating, "The shelf stacking life is too appealing to turn down, plus I cannot play in Currys for the rest of my life, Jim from sales there has started suspecting something". ''The 54th later retired to a gaming clan with the presence of Nozza no where to be found. 17e Regiment d'infanterie de Ligne ''(2013 - 2014) In late 2013, he joined the 17e, then lead by Posh who was ranked 37th on the 'National Colonels Rankings', just behind MrJ whose regiment only lasted 4 hours/1 event. Nozza became a presence in the teamspeak cracking jokes whenever he felt they were needed. One member by the name of Welsh_Lad was even quoted saying "I would fist my arsehole and lick my dads nobcheese off while listening to Herisheys rap album on repeat to be half as good as that Nozza lad". ''Posh quickly recognised Nozza's value and promoted him to 'Caporal Fourrier de Premier', a rank appointed to the best melee player in the regiment. As the months went by there were reports from sources inside the 17e camp that Nozza was looking to take over. It is reported that Posh cracked under the pressure of losing his child, 17e, and retired the clan prematurely. He claimed he was "''Pursuing a career as a premier league footballer, despite being 34 and legless". 22nd Cheshire Regiment of Foot (2014 - 2015) In June 2014 Nozza found himself with numerous contract offers from Regiments throughout the community. On June 6th 2014 it was announced that Nozza had signed a 3 year deal with the 22nd Cheshire Regiment of Foot, under the guidance of the famous Colonel Murphy. He was given the rank of Chef although it was thought that this was just for show and he was in fact cooking the regiment dinners in linebattles. Nozza often spoke out against Pte. Brian McDermott, reportedly due to his superior memes and melee ability. He called him a "Poo" ''on numerous occasions and was once quoted calling him a ''"Big Poo". '' On August 3rd 2014, it was revealed on Nozza's mySpace that he had left Tesco. As tensions grew in the 22nd, Murphy came under increasing pressure with sources claiming that he had panic attacks every 3 minutes or so during linebattles. On September 11th 2014, marking the 13th Anniversary of his Fathers death, ''"Al Surab Burab", Nozza Cried 75th Regiment of Foot With his melee skills deteriorating Nozza was forced to join the 75th or face returning to Tesco. On January 4th 2016 Nozza was unveiled to a presentation of 3 people at ASDA carpark. Personal Life Nozza is an avid Cat fan, often seen walking his cat down to Subway. He sticks close to his roots of practing FullTimeMadBastardology, often seen in Tesco Carpacks stealing dustcaps off wheels and breaking windows.